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And now for something completely different... Av LarsCarlberg :: Wednesday, August 30, 2006 :: Läst 348 ggr :: 2 kommentarer :: :: Genre: Kärlek, Äventyr, Rysare, Humor, Sagoberättelse, Blandat En kamrat bad mig skriva nån slags promotiontext eller bara något till en blivande hemsida för hans death metal-band Plague Majestic. Jag vet inte riktigt vad de väntade sig, och jag är rätt säker på att det här inte var vad jag väntade mig heller. (Det är på engelska, men det märker ni väl ändå...) (En kamrat bad mig skriva nån slags promotiontext eller bara något till en blivande hemsida för hans death metal-band Plague Majestic. Jag vet inte riktigt vad de väntade sig, och jag är rätt säker på att det här inte var vad jag väntade mig heller...) Plague Majestic Anonymous posts on a forum thread called ”Who were you/Who are you?”, on www.gothmachine.com, a site dedicated to different aspects of Death, Disease, Darkness, Desinformation and other vicious things beginning with the letter ”D”. -Posted on 01062006 at 12.14 pm by anonymous - ”I don’t ’believe’ in reincarnation. I know for sure that it’s a fact that I was in a previous life swept away by a great plague and buried in a mass grave in the outskirts of the St:John graveyard here in my hometown. Several times I have visited the site and felt myself lie deep down there in the dirt, beneath my feet. It begins as a slight tingling in my legs, like some kind of an energy emanating from the earth. Then it reaches my pelvis, and I have often, lying in my bed late at night, wondered if I am in someway the ghost of the person I was then, compelled to walk this earth for some reason. I think, and it makes me a little worried, that my life back then ended in a horrifying mess. Maybe it’s just because I’ve read a lot about the plagues lately. I don’t know.” -Posted on 03062006 at 1.16 am by anonymous - ”Late last night I found out something really disturbing. I had a severe headache, that seemed to come from nowhere. I decided to go to bed, but wanted to check my email first. I turned on the computer, but found out that since I last used it, it had been the victim of somekind of virus attack, and when I booted it, it just said: ”The DNA of this dreaming machine has been ultimately corrupted by the force of the F-virus EZ_MAJESTIC_v2!!!” Sick as I was, I just turned the computer off and fell asleep. However, in the morning, I read in the news that a new breed of Ebola Zaire, the most lethal of the strands of the Ebola virus disease, was discovered in Africa. The outbreak had been stopped, but scientists debated wether this was at last an mutated version of the F-virus that could spread through the air, and not solely by contact as the previous variants of Ebola. Now, the coincidence is a little peculiar, isn’t it?” -Posted on 03062006 at 2.34 am by anonymous - ”Visiting St:Johns Church, A Poem. All through the night I can hear myself scream Endlessly I claw for the wounds on myself As I walk the streets Crowded with the dying Death, death and disease.” -Posted on 04062006 at 11.50 am by anonymous - ”I think a lot about how some ideas, some thoughts, seem to get stuck in your head. I wonder if there is some kind of ’mind virus’ that can get into your brain and root itself there. I mean, like when you can’t get some stupid song out of your head. The last days I’ve been occupated with writing down some of my inherited memories from the 17:th century. I can clearly recall the house I lived in. I was married, and we had eight or nine children, but all was killed by the plague. Somehow, still, I was the last to die, so I had to suffer through the deaths of my whole family. I remember a daughter, maybe like fourteen or fifteen years old. One morning I found her lying naked in the mud right outside our door, killed not by the plague but by the people who had raped and molested her. It seems that some of the people who were hired for carrying away the dead bodies in the middle of the plague areas, had a habit of raping young girls as an extra benefit of their work. Guess a lot of things like that were going on back then.” -Posted on 05062006 at 6.01 pm by anonymous - ”Damn, I gotta tell you folks about a dream I had tonight, connected right to the things I’ve told you about before! I was standing beside an old well, like the one in The Ring, you know. Then someone pushed me and I fell right down in it. But there was no water in it, instead I landed on a heap of corpses that the officials had threwn down there. All the bodies were marked by the plague, ’cept for the body of my teen daughter who was right on top. From the bottom of the well you could go into different passages, and I decided to try one were the smell wasn’t so foul (like Gandalf said in Lord of the rings you know :-)). And all of a sudden I found myself into the inside of my own computer – the old, virusinfested one. There were other people in there, all africans, and they were doing some kind of ancient rites to ward off the dark disease that were spreading in the silicone. I clearly saw the vast, shining surface of the disk in my hard-drive. It was like I stood on a mountain and saw an ancient battle raging beneath me on the plains of the computer’s magnetic information storage. Then I woke up in a sweat and started to write down what I’d dreamt!” -Posted on 06062006 at 6.46 am by anonymous - ”I’m throwing this question out to see if anyone out there can answer: Is the outbreaks of plauges in history and nowadays a work of the Devil or God, or is it the means of some other supernatural beings that plan to control and maintain us humans? I ask this, because I’ve found a lot of evidence for the involvment of mysterious beings when it comes to the historical records of the plagues. For example, a fransciscaner monk called Adalberuis describes how the sky was filled with lights and moving sceptres the months before an epidemic outbreak in Poland sometime in the 14:th century. Was it God showing his wrath? Or was it extraterrestrial aliens? I believe that the mentionings of a big ship made out of some unknown material that came to the harbour of Xian-Lao in an old Chinese chronicle are true. Then the Plague that spread from the far east originally would have been inplanted there by some other, greater race, with a menacing scheme for the human race!” -Posted on 07062006 at 4.23 pm by anonymous - ”From all the traffic in this thread I can tell that this is not just a thing that is in my head! Thanks for all the opinions and comments on my dreams and my theories! Now we’ve just got to make sure that more people are informed of the real nature of The Plague and other diseases!  I have a feeling that I’ve got to be quick, cause if The Plague are out to get me, then it will strike me before I spread the word to much. So I’m gonna start up my own website in the coming week, with all the information needed to fight off The Plague. And here’s another poem I’ve written: Battle of The Dying I cannot breathe My lungs have died within me Parts of me have died While I’m still alive I am the birth chamber For something that is not me That kills me slowly” -Posted on 07062006 at 6.25 pm by anonymous - ”Ok, so here’s another thing: My dead self from the mass grave of St:Johns came to me in a vision and told me that I didn’t die from The Plague, but from Cancer! In fact, I wouldn’t have died that day in the dirt and been carried away, if it hadn’t been for the Cancer! I would have survived The Plague. But something was out to get me, because I had seen the real cause of The Epidemic! Still, I had something in my DNA that made me resistant to the F-virus, so they had to bathe me in cosmic rays to start the Cancer breeding in my cells. For two reasons: a) I KNEW about the dark inhibitants that caused The Plauge and b) the fact that I was genetically resistant to their F-viruses made them kill me and all my children so that the genetic resistance would not spread in the population! Now I know that Cancer is also related to The Plague, as a means to control the ones that are not affected by the F-virus. Need I say that I’ve started to eat a lot of non-saturated fats and Shark-Destillates to try to prevent me from getting Cancer?” -Posted on 09062006 at 10.20 am by anonymous - ”There is virus in my new computer too! I’ve decided not to kill it off, but to study it carefully. It calls itself ’F_GungHo_TeenkillerTM_V6_1’ and it’s clearly adapted just for me and for my dead self from the past. I’ve quarantained it in a small part of my hard drive, and in my dreams I can see it lurk there and whisper it’s deadly sermon to me! My computer was infected when I was on Nike's homepage to look for a pair of sneakers meant for my sisters kid. Then suddenly my firewall got all hysterical and started to blurt warnings on my screen. So now we can be sure of another thing, which should not be THAT much of a surprise: multinational corporations like Nike and McDonald's are yet another tool for The Plague! I’m trying to eat a lot of garlic and C-vitamins, but I don’t know if it will protect me from the virus in the end. But I’m willing to do this sacrifice to make sure that I can get the information out to other people. My new site for the information is on it’s way! Make a statue in remembrance of me or something when I’m dead :-)” -Posted on 09062006 at 9.37 pm by anonymous - ”Right, so now I know another thing! My dead self from the mass grave and my dead daughter (she’s starting to come through now too, the officials raped and killed her because she was also immune to the F-virus) have teamed up to interrogate the GungHo virus in my computer. It seems like many things connect. The virus in my computer is a late spawn of the demons that Jesus exorzised out of the people of Kaanan when he was on his way to Jerusalem. Everything is information, hidden in DNA, computer code and even in the structure of the pages of the old books one reads. The true nature of Possession By Demons or Devils is not that there really is some kind of demon, but a viral kind of information that infects your neural soul! Just lately the viruses have learned to make the jumps from DNA and RNA code to computer code and back again. I’m keeping out of my computer room as much as I can so that I won’t get infected myself, but my dead previous self forwards this information to me in visions.” -Posted on 10062006 at 4.55 am by anonymous -   ”I watched a BBC documentary on The Plague and it’s all clear that’s everything is a scam to cover up the diabolic plot. Yet somehow the viral code must have been hidden in the TV-show to, even if it was an analogue broadcast and I watched it on my old analogue TV-set. I’ve begun to sneeze badly in the past hours and I’ve also a severe headache coming up again. I’ve stayed away from both of my infected computers (I’m writing this on an old laptop if anybody wonders) but The Plauge seem to have got me anyway. My dead self is trying his best to inplant some of his resistant DNA in my immune defence system with techniques he’s learnt by interrogating the GungHo virus, but I don’t know if it’ll work fast enough. From an old african spiritual guy that now lives on my balcony I have learned that I am the primary target for The Plague right now. The supernatural beings are working hard on developing all kinds of Ebola, Lassa Fever, Anthrax, Marburg, Trojans and Worms to infect me through every means possible!” -Posted on 11062006 at 8.04 pm by anonymous – ”I’ve shielded myself off for the last week, trying to use both aluminium and lead protection from the cosmic rays that may cause Cancer, and a Brain Mental Firewall consisting of reciting old Gregorian Chants over and over. It has worked so far, but I don’t know how long I can keep up. The site with the information was up and running for a few hours, but was then shut down because of the massive amounts of porn I had added to the site to get more visitors. I tried to hide the informations subliminally in the porn pics to not attract the interest of The Plague, but it seems like it tracked me down anyway. My head is bulging with great ache and my limbs feel week, and I’ve developed a habit of throwing up very often due to the nature of the infection that threatens to get a hold on me. I’ve been assisted by long dead members of the Xiapa tribe from West Africa who was swept away by an outbreak of Lassa Fever in the 1980:ties. They come to me clad in loincloths and waving their spears, and I’ve also got a great scar tattoo that is meant to protect me from evil spirits and black magic, but I don’t know if it works.” -Posted on 14062006 at 9.23 am by anonymous - ”The virus finally hatched in my head and I died a couple of days ago. I am still alive anyway, but that is just because I’m Possessed by so many different entities of viral code and information that make my body move. It is a strange feeling – I go to my work in the postal office every day and people seem to think that I’m still me, but MY HOW WRONG THEY ARE! There is the african tribe that controls my feet and legs and causes me to dance and twitch regularly, while my eyes are controlled by my dead previous self from St:Johns graveyard who likes to look at young women in SCANTY CLOTHING! I’ve dedicated my undead body to science, and I’ve even been visiting the University of Medicine to encourage them to do an authopsy on me, but as they are controlled by the Supernatural Order Of The Plauge they refuse to do that, of course. They’re really missing out on an interesting case! My ribcage is full of computer worms that makes me want to call porn dialers, and a family of plague victims from 18:th century Netherlands have decided to live in the nerves of my right arm. As they are strict puritans they refuse to let my right hand anywhere near my groin, so I’m learning to use my left hand both for peeing and jerking off. The real me, as I once was, is hiding somewhere in a gland located near the left armpit, and sometimes when the chatter and the commotion of all the others dies down for a while, I am able to take control of the left arm to write messages like this. Let this be a lesson to all of you! May the Force be with you, and don’t forget to visit www.myspace.com/plaguemajestic!!!

Kommentarer Av Rudqvist Friday, September 01, 2006 kl 6:18 AM Jösses, vem anade att du kunde uppbåda sådant mörker? Klockren mystik och gastkramade sinnesrubbad terror, och i form av foruminlägg dessutom. Underbart, full pott! Tack för läsningen! Av Fiyun Friday, October 20, 2006 kl 12:10 PM Somekind" ska skrivas som två separata ord. "Sick as I was" Alltid varit ett gissel för mig, det är ditt val men jag föredrar "Ill" istället för "sick", då det påminner om att vara mentalt sjuk. (Det är en engelska-skada från mellanstadiet. (^_^;) ) "the most lethal of the strands of the Ebola virus " Jag kommer att kolla upp "strands", då det låter lite svengelskt. ^_^ "wether" Ordet är "Whether". "an mutated" Det blir "a", eftersom ordet börjar med en konsonant. "I claw for the wounds on myself" Eftersom att det är poetiskt, har jag lite svårt att säga om claw funkar eller inte... "Scratch" är ordet jag tänker på. ”I think a lot about how some ideas, some thoughts, seem to get stuck in your head." Kommatecknet efter "thoughts" måste förintas för att meningen inte ska kännas kluven. "It seems that some of the people who were hired for carrying away the dead bodies in the middle of the plague areas," Tveksam på böjningen i början av meningen med blandadet av tid. "the sky was filled with lights and moving sceptres the months before an epidemic outbreak " Jag undrar; Var det spiror(sceptres) eller ormar(serpents) som ringlade sig på himlen? "would have been inplanted there by " "Implanted", Så lätt att glömma. (^_^;) "I spread the word to much." Jag tror "more people" skulle låta bättre. ^_^ "But something was out to get me," Ordet "there" efter "out" skulle göra meningen komplett. "would not spread in the population!" Ordet ska vara "Too", kanske "within" skulle också funka. "There is virus in my new computer too!" Antingen lägger du in ett "a" efter virus, eller så gör du om att till pluralis. "I’ve decided not to kill it off" Ta bort "off", kanske använd en datorterm som "terminate"? ^_^ "meant for my sisters kid." "Sister's", ska det vara. Engelskan älskar dom där tecknen. >_< "remembrance" Måste kolla upp ordet. "code must have been hidden in the TV-show to" Lägg till ett "o" på "to" "(I’m writing this on an old laptop if anybody wonders) but The Plauge seem to have got me anyway." Hittade en mask i "plauge". ^o^ "loincloths" är "loinclothes" . O^_^o Mitt omdöme: Ser ut att vara en ganska intressant blogg (tänker på Lonelygirl 15) blandat med paranoia och ockulta saker. Engelskan fungerar igenom, med ett ganska intressant slut. Stackare som måste använda vänstra handen. ^^' Mitt betyg: 4/5, Minus. Du måste vara inloggad för att skriva en kommentar. Du kan logga in här